I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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