he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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