And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
