Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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