Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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