Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
