Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im about as happy as oj after his trial
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
