a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
