On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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