We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
