he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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