Porn is love you can see.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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