why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
