Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
