so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
