Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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