new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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