I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
