haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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