I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
