how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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