I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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