How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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