He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
