Don't make out with my wife yet
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize