Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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