hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
