btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was confusing and full of hummus
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
