So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
