I hate all girls vehemently.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
