and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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