How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
