What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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