I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
