the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
