Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
