You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
