Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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