Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
