This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
