and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Shame - the story of my life.
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