More tranny stories later!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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