did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
