Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
