I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
