I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
