We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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