This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
