dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
