Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
