i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
